Take your profits and get the fuck out of these high volatility stocks. It’s fine to ride the train up, but please for the love of god, set a stop limit or a trailing stop. I’ve been apart of this community for over a year but just started investing. I’m going to give the new people some advice.

1. Research the company and see if their valuation matches the current share price.
   
2. Pay close attention to all the comments on whatever you’re investing in. It’s not hard to tell the real people from bots. Most bots will tell you to hold the fucking bag, while they run off with your money.
   
3. If it’s too good to be true, it usually is. I’m not telling anyone how to spend there money, but please only invest in these high volatility stocks with the future of the share possibly tanking.
   
4. Don’t let high volatility stocks take up a majority of your portfolio. I’ve seen advice where people say one stock shouldn’t take up more than 10-20% of your portfolio.
   
5. This one is a big one. If you see people hyping the fuck out of a certain stock, there is a good chance there will certainly be a sell off once people start seeing huge profits. It don’t hurt to take profit and buy in at a lower price. Definitely use risk management to make sure every trade is worth it.
   
6. Don’t day trade, you will lose more money than you make in the long run. If you plan on investing short term, have a strategy. Invest in options that have good deltas and IV. These are certainly risky but if you like gambling on shitty shilled stocks, this one is for you.
   
7. If you want to go long, invest in ETFs. Sure these will see lower gains, but over time the gains will be decent. If you want to go long on equities, make sure you love the damn stock. So many people see red and sell, this is fine if you’re using risk management and need to exit but horrible if you’re trying to make money without a lot of capital.
   
8. Learn, Learn, and Learn. Learn from every mistake you make and better yourself for the next trade. I was a bag holder with GME, I lost about $600. Know which indicators lead to the stock moving in a certain directions. You think it will breakout, what will the catalyst be? Always strive to learn more than the previous day.
   

TLDR: Trust your instincts, not random people on Reddit, who a majority are bots and shills. You can definitely learn from people on here, but you’re picking a needle from a haystack. You’re here to make money for your future, other people are wanting to fill their pockets, so expect misinformation. Take everything with a grain of salt.

I swear to God if I see one more person make this bum ass statement, I'm gonna sigh disapprovingly.
Fr though, in all seriousness, I severely detest this statement. It's used as a way for people to try and discredit the latter portions of the series as being unlike the initial style. But it's shallow and largely revisionist.
We see within the first 150 chapters we see fights involving giant snakes, a giant demon tanuki living in a child, a giant toad summoned by a child, a giant slug summoned by a retired gambling addict. Oh and how can I forget the mentioning of a giant demon fox that lives in a child and is said to have the power to destroy mountains IN THE FIRST FUCKING CHAPTER. You read that and all that reads "ninja" to you??
If y'all thought shit was sweet after reading that, idk what to tell you. Like of course shit was gonna scale up from there.
Y'all don't go around saying "I miss when one piece was about pirates" foh bruh

This is probably like a common knowledge kind of thing for this community, but I really wanted to dig into it more than a cynical look at it.
As is common tradition, Churches usually advertise(read: enforce) tithing. Akin to like a second tax, the congregation is encouraged to pay 10% of their paycheck(we'll use take home for ease of argument) to the church for tithe.
Now tithing is usually given the connotation that should you tithe, God is going to "reimburse" you in some way. Most people give tithing credit for "blessing" them with a better paying job. An example would be NFL Raiders Quarterback Derek Carr who paid a huge tithe to his church.
So it stands to reason than many church members will tithe in the hopes that God will "bless" them with better living.
What bugs me is that most of the "blessings" these people get would most likely have happened without church or tithing regardless. The difference would be is they could've put that tithe into their savings and have a bigger savings account.
Now the lottery can have a bit of a bad reputation since it's essentially gambling, and a gambling addiction can be crippling and a severe problem.
However, I sat and thought about how much the tithe takes out of one's paycheck vs a $2 (USD) lotto ticket.
So let's say you make $24,000 (USD) a year. 10% of that is is $2,400. Let's also say the "average" jackpot is $1,000,000. Again for sake of argument, we're going to ignore the smaller and larger prizes.
1,000,000 divided by 2,400 is 500. So it would take roughly FIVE HUNDRED years of FAILED lotto tickets for the funds to outweigh the worth, at least in the case of comparing to tithe.
Specifically FAILED, because within your life span; if you consistently spent 10% of your paycheck on lotto tickets, you could win the jackpot.
But spending 10% of your pay to those charismatic megachurch pastors to help furnish their private jets and lavish mansions literally benefits you in NO WAY.
If the church you pay tithe at is actually genuine in helping impoverished communities, then I would compare that to donating to charity. Which goes against tithing in hopes of reaping some kind of divine "blessing"
So please, put that money in the bank, or buy a lotto ticket. Stop making charismatic liars rich.
Or do, I can't make you live your life.

Chapter One: Bozeman or Bust (lots of bust)
I had done it once again, like so many other years before, by traveling north to one of the harshest and coldest states that a hobo could possibly go to during the dead of winter, late-January 2021: Mon-fucking-tana. Or as the locals jokingly say, "Montucky". (edit: Shout-out to Montucky Cold Snacks, the cheap horse-piss watered down beer that is Montana's equivalent of Washington's "Rainier Ale" or Oregon's "Session Lager"). I digress.
If I was a goose, I'd surely be the Jonathan Livingston Seagull of the flock…the black sheep shitshow of a goose flying in the completely wrong direction at the worst time of the year. As forementioned, this was not the first time, nor second time, that I've done this. In fact, it's become a habit, if not straight-up routine.
Laramie, Wyoming circa November 2016. Glendive, Montana circa January 2015 Minot, North Dakota circa January 2014. Yukon, Canada circa November 2013. Bellingham, Washington circa January 2006. The list goes on, and on, and on…
And here I am. Bozeman Fucking Montana, circa January-February 2021. The locals say it's an unusually warm winter, which by Montana's standards might include 5 inches of snow in the afternoon and temperatures dropping below 10F degrees at night. However, according to the high standards of a low-class hobo born and raised on the Gulf Coast of Alabama, this weather is colder than a witches tit.
Now, that's not to say that I ain't prepared though. I assure you that I am. Sixteen years of living on the road and rails has made this black goose a well-seasoned bird, with all the trimmings. I have a military sleeping bag that can keep me alive down to negative 30 temperatures. My military backpack is waterproof, and so are the snowboarding pants that I wear under my insulated Carharrt overalls. I have alpaca wool thermal pants, merino wool socks, thermolite waterproof boots, thinsulated gloves, and several wool and polyster beanie hats. My dual-layer mountaineering tent can withstand hurricane-force winds and all the snow that a blizzard can muster.
Winter? Montana? Bring it bitch. Hit me with your best shot. You know I like it. wink
Sigh. However, DESPITE the freezing temperatures and shit tons of snow, there's a lil secret that I've learned during my many years of traveling, and that secret is certainly DUE to these wintery conditions: Jobs! Lots and lots and lots and lots of jobs! Jobs here, jobs there, jobs every-fucking-where. Hotel jobs, restaurant jobs, retail jobs, construction jobs, maintenance jobs, driving jobs, even jobs just to help other people get more damn jobs!
You want a job during winter? Well they got jobs out northern Californie way, Oregonie way, Montanie way, Washingtonie way, North and South Dakotie way, and every which way can go above above the Mason-Dixon line!
If you can't find a damn job in the Northwestern United States of America during winter, you ain't fucking looking, and that's a fact. If you got one arm and you can swing a hammer, or punch a number on a cash register, then consider yourself hired on the spot and you can start today.
Before this chapter turns into an entire damn book of its own (A Hobo's Guide to Finding Jobs) let's get back to the story here: Bozeman or Bust.
As I begin this chapter, I have a red-wine hangover that is enough to drive me to a bullet in the head. I made a pot of coffee only to puke it back up on my hands and knees in front the porcelain thrown. I think it was good ole Earnest Hemingway that once said "Write Drunk, Edit Sober". Experienced words of wisdom from a fine man that knew everything a man could possibly know about drinking shit tons of wine and writing shit tons of stories. I wouldn't be lying if I was to confess that Mr. Hemingway, along with Mr. Steinbeck and Mr. Twain, are drunken heroes of mine that I could only hope someday to sit alongside in the bookstores of Hell and Hades with a gallon of cheap Merlot. Salut, gentleman.
After puking, rolling cigarettes, drinking coffee, and puking several times more, I was finally able to sit down to try and remember what-the-fuck happened yesterday; a solemn meditation technique that involves tons of coffee and contemplation; a time to worship the asinine achievements that are accompanied in both rejoice and regret.
Yesterday started off sober as a saint. I had a job interview at this place I had found on craigslist, some place looking for fresh warm bodies to fill up their production-assembly line. I took a bus to the address they had given me, which ended up being the adress to the Bozeman City Bank.
"A bank?", I thought, as I wondered around the parking lot dumbfounded and confused for a solid 5 minutes, checking the address several times on my phone, wondering why on earth I've been sent to a state bank. After circling the parking lot, I noticed a door on the side of the bank that said "Job Choices Employment Services: Second Floor".
Godammit. I had been fucking conned. Fucking craigslist. I know what's going on here…this a goddamn employment agency that wants to take 10-15 percent of my paycheck, take away my rights to healthcare and benefits, in the so-called promise of finding me a "great career path of opportunity".
Employment agencies. Just like rats. The only "opportunity" here was them: Creatures of opportunity, parasites hellbent on scavaging peoples money and benefits. "A not-even-close-to-great career path of 9-5 slave-labor bullshit involving years of suckling away your mind, body, and spirit", the sign on the door should have read.
This was definitely a mistake. And anyone that has ever had the unfortunate pleasure of being with me can you tell one thing about me: I fucking love mistakes. I love making them, and I love learning from them. I am a walking-talking connoisseur of mistakes. In fact, I just made a mistake trying to spell connoisseur, so I asked Google "Hey Google, spell connoisseur", and due to lack of interpreting my Alabama accent, Google made the mistake of showing me the word Coitus. I have now learned that the word "coitus" is another word for sex. As a writer and the son of an English teacher, I love learning new words. As a human male, I love sex. So learning a new word for "sex" is a fantastic trade-off for that fortunate mistake!
I digress.
I decided to walk into the bank, up the stairs to the second floor, and down the hall to the employment agency. A well-dressed and very sexy debutant by the name of Tracy stood up and greeted me with a smile that was formal, professional, and admittedly very sexy.
While my dirty mind started playing cheap porn music, along with vivid images of me and Tracy wrecking that office like wild alleycats, I was suddenly snapped back into reality with Tracy's sexy voice, saying:
"Hey, you must be Mr. Huck! Are you here for the 3:00 o'clock interview? Could you please start by filling out this application? You can have a seat over at the desk here"…
Godammit. This employment agency was GOOD. I was Tracy's submissive little slut. I walked right where Tracy told me to walk, sat right in the chair Tracy pulled out for me to sit in, and I started filling out the application with the ballpoint pen that Tracy had somehow put in my hand without me even realizing it. Tracy could have stolen my wallet and the 11 dollars inside of it as well, had she wanted to, and I wouldn't have even noticed. And even if I had noticed, I would have let her do it anyway. Godammit!
As I started to fill out the application, I got to the section I dreaded most: job references. Oh boy…allow me to tell you a little about Huck's references, or lacktherof:
At my last job, I was fired because of a fight that broke-out between my ex-girlfriend and myself, which began with lots of shouting and shoving, and ended with me getting a black-eye from being punched in the face twice. Fun fact: Italian women are fiery as they are fierce, and bold as they are beautiful. And just like their male Italian counterparts, such as Sylvester Stalone or Al Capone, they know how to land a solid right jab. This fight erupted in the worker's dormitory for all employees to hear and see. And although I was the one with the swollen black eye, I was the one they decided to fire. C'est la vie, such is life. Que sera sera, it be what it fucking be.
We can scratch that job off as a reference, without a doubt.
The job before that, I was at a marijuana farm called "Great American Cannabis", in which my managers and co-workers tried to recruit me into a far-right group of sexist and racist baboons called "The Proud Boys".
There was a pre-determining factor in why that farm had hired me, and assumed I would be interested in their idealogical gang. That pre-determing factor was the very same factor that led Google to teaching me the wrong word and definition: my Alabama accent.
Great American Cannabis had hired me based on a phone interview, in which they assumed my southern accent indicated two things, in which case one of their assumptions was right, and one was wrong:
Assumption Numero Uno: Huck has an Alabama accent, which therefore indicates that he has years of experience working on farms, growing plants, and being an honest and hard-worker.
Assumption Numero Dos: Huck has an Alabama accent, therefore he must be idealogically aligned with far-right beliefs including sexism and racism.
Welp, I am proud to say that even that although a 50% winning percentage may be fine and dandy with gambling in Vegas, and can be seen as half full or half empty based on however optimisitic or pessimistic you might be, in the case of Great American Cannabis and The Proud Boys, those odds ended pretty badly.
As it turns out, despite being raised by a racist father and surrounded by bigotry in the not-so-sweet home of Alabama, those very dispositions made this black sheep child rebel from such ass-backward beliefs, and I am staunchly pro-civil rights, which means I am pro-immigration, and a proud supporter of the sufferage movement for womens right.
Obviously, that did not go very well with my co-workers at the farm, and I was fired within the first month. But wait, theres more tragic humor to the story of this farm, which I'll organize in two keypoints:
Keypoint Numero Uno: The farm was owned by Iranian immigrants. I…shit…you…not. That's right. YOU DID READ THAT CORRECTLY. Not only was the farm owned and managed by a minority group of immigrants, those very immigrants came directly from the very country is at the VERY TOP of White-America's shitlist: Iran.
Keypoint Numeros Dos: After I was fired based almost entirely according to my leftist and progressive views on race and gender equality, within just a couple of weeks nearly everybody on the farm was fired and replaced by cheaper immigrant labor in the form of Laotian women. That's right…a white-blooded American-born legal-working male, was replaced by brown-blooded, foreign-born, mostly-illegal-working females, on a farm owned and managed by right-wing racists and sexists that were anti-immigration. Once again, I…shit…you…fucking…not...let THAT shit sink in.
I literally cannot make this shit up, and let it be forever proof that reality, however tragic or ironic it may be, is far greater than fiction. You can write that last sentence in a letter, shove that puppy in an envelope, slap that bitch with a stamp, and mail it to the fucking MOON. Or you can mail it to Iran, or Laos, whichever you prefer.
However, I digress.
So, being that I was fired from Great American Cannabis by a bunch of Iranian Proud Boys, you can scratch that job off of the "reference" list as well. Sigh.
So, how about the job before that? Well, that's a hell of a story too, but I'll make it quick and cut shorter to the chase:
I worked on a fishing boat for a Mormon captain. Although I loved him like a Dad, and he often treated me like a son, my job ended in these words:
"Huck, I really like you. You're one of the hardest working deckhands I've ever had, despite it being a very terrible year for fishing. However, as a man that is a Latter Day Saint of God, as a Mormon, I'm going to have to ask you to leave because of three reasons:
1) You smoke cigarettes, marijuana, and drink alcohol and coffee.
2) You curse worse than a sailor.
3) You are an atheist/agnostic."
And in case you, the reader did not know: Mormons HATE cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol, AND coffee. They are forbidden to curse, and they are not even allowed to tolerate the company of anyone that isn't a believer in God.
Well Godammit. How in the hell am I so goddamn misfortunate and unlucky, to be the must FIRST FUCKING PERSON in the entire HISTORY OF FISHING, that has gotten fired for using curse words and drinking whiskey. I couldn't even absorb the fact that my boss was firing me because I couldn't get over the fact that I was possibly the first sailor or fisherman in all of ocean-faring humanity that had gotten fired for doing what sailors and fisherman are guaranteed and known to do best: drinkin' and cursin'
We can also scratch THAT job off the possible reference list as well.
It was at this point in the office of Job Choices Bozeman that the porn music had long since stopped playing in my head, and that I suddenly and swiftly fell deeply into a full blown existential crisis right there in Tracy's office while simply trying to think of a single reference from my last 3 jobs. The unbelievable amount of misfortune, tragedy, irony, and utter insanity of my last 3 job experiences had truly started to sink in, and I was beginning to legitimately lose my temporary grasp on sanity along with my faith in humanity altogether in one great, big, sloppy sandwich of existential fucking crisis.
Allow me to self-diagnose this existential crisis sandwich by peeling off some of the layers of this enormous stinking onion that is in the middle of it all: Either that curse that was put on me a few years ago by a Mexican trainhopping gypsy from New Orleans is proof that curses are indeed fucking real, or either I am the unluckiest son of a bitch on this entire planet that is so very unlucky that I am slowly (or quickly) coming to the conclusion that this entire life is a simulation that is programmed by some sick comedic asshole that specializes in the tragedies of both irony AND misfortune. And though some people in this world call that programmer God or Allah or Jehovah, I call him Jeff. I call him "Jeff in Programming", with same amount of disdain and hatred that Michael Scott refers to "Toby in Human Resources" in the American version of the show "The Office".
(Sidenote: If you do not understand my last reference because you have not watched The Office, then you need to stop reading this book right now, go sign up for one month of Netflix, and spend that entire month binge-watching one of the greatest sitcoms ever made in the history of television: The Office (US Version). Go. Now!)
I digress.
As I collapsed into a full-blown existential crisis while thinking of job references on the second floor employment services office above Montana State Bank, my fantasy-based relationship with Tracy was also about to crumble into an existential crisis as well, based on two very important qualities:
Quality Numero Uno: Tracy and I had no relationship that actually existed outside of my head and a stupid job application form. We had never knocked over all of the filing cabinets, water-cooler, or broken the copying machine with tantric sex. That scenario never existed period.
Quality Numeros Dos: I was about to not only lie, but also commit non-existent adultery to Tracy, thus putting a very real end to a not-very-real relationship.
I stood up from the desk that me and Tracy had never fucked on, and I told Tracy that I had to use the bathroom. And though I did really have to use the bathroom, it wasn't for the purpose of pissing or taking a shit, it was for the purpose of throwing the application in the toilet and sneaking my way down the hallway and out of the employment agency. In which case, that is precisely what I did.
Upon stepping out of the door and back into the parking lot of Bozeman City Bank, I noticed another hot little woman across the street: A dazzling red-headed freckle-faced damsel by the name of Wendy, who promised in her fertile bosom the birth of two-dollar cheeseburgers and loaded baked potatoes. I went inside Wendy's house, and began to have an oral relationship by penetrating my mouth with nearly everything that was offered on Wendy's dollar-value menu.
Stop here, acquire coffee, booze, and cigarettes until I feel like writing again, which may be later tonight, tomorrow morning, or possibly fucking never

Last Updated: February 2, 2021 11:56 PM ET 

I will present some facts. These facts are all kind of similar, and arguably all say the same thing in different words. This is a good thing, because your smooth ass brain needs all the help it can get. You should read all of this, unless you can't read, in which case just 🚀ALL IN GME 🚀.
After, I will present the logical conclusion, and what you can do about it.
Fact #1: Hedge funds are getting REEEEEEEEEEamed by the rotation into memes
See: https://twitter.com/CGasparino/status/1354571801767116801
Lots of big funds are 'long-short'; they'll look at all of the stocks in a sector, like say retail or real estate, and rank them from best to worst. They'll go long the best one, and go short the worst one. You can probably already see where this is going: the 'worst ones' have gotten way too shorted and way too beaten up, and now they're being squeezed.
Oh, and the 'best stocks' haven't done much since August. That means the gains don't come close to cancelling out the losses. And god help the funds who are short-only; they are getting absolutely ass-blasted, and you know they're not enjoying it cause if they did they'd be hanging out here posting fat loss porn with us.
Fact #2: Shorts getting destroyed causes deleveraging and selling elsewhere in the market
See: https://twitter.com/chamath/status/1354646282678149127?s=21 and https://twitter.com/DowdEdward/status/1354508826725085185
If there's one thing we know here at WSB, it's that you're a toilet paper handed bitch if you're not levered to the tits at all times. The biggest funds know this too, and being the biggest funds, they have access to way more leverage than you and I do. This is a bit of a problem for shorts though: shorts need liquid capital to close their positions. If you've ever been in a situation where you sold a covered call or spread and got money for it and then immediately used that money to buy another call or something, but then you wanted to buy your spread or your covered call back, but couldn't close it because you just spent the money on something else....now you know what is going on at these hedge funds. They collected a bunch of money a long time ago when they shorted the stonk, and then immediately spent all that money to juice their returns, and now they need to have a fire sale just to have enough liquid capital to buy back their shit at a massive premium.
If you imagine the case of your typical long-short fund, that means they're being forced to sell their 'best' stocks. If you imagine a short fund, that means they're asking for bailouts and you're probably gonna find some of them behind Wendy's next week.
Fact #3: The extreme volatility and volume in some stocks is causing a minor liquidity crisis.
see: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25951475
Let's say you're broke but want to YOLO on GME, so you need to raise some money. You go to a pawn shop and pawn them your graphics card for $1000, because they know they can go sell that fancy RTX3090 super duper titanium RGB hentai edition for more than $1000 on ebay if they need to.
Well, the next day, imagine people start speculating on graphics cards, and the prices go crazy: some start selling for 10$ and some start selling for $5,000 and every price in between. If you try to pawn that graphics card tomorrow, the pawn shop is gonna look at it and say "hell no, we have no idea how much we can sell that for, we're not gonna take that risk."
This is basically what's happening with loads of stocks right now. Ordinarily it's not a big deal; everyone knows how much a stock is worth right now, and it's extremely extremely likely it will be worth about the same price (+/- a few percent with 99% probability) tomorrow and the day after and the day after. So they're happy to take it as collateral. But right now, some stocks are going up and down by 100%+ within minutes. A stock could literally go from hundreds of dollars to next to worthless within a day or two. So nobody is gonna take that as collateral. If you own that, for all intents and purposes, you have zero dollars.
If you want to use your positions as leverage, or if you were ALREADY using your positions as leverage, this is a huge problem. You need to find some different source of collateral. If you can't, you need to sell shit so that you have good 'ole USD. It's not just hedge funds that are feeling squeezed: it's the clearing firms and banks and...basically anyone that uses stonks as collateral for any purpose.
By the way, this is what caused most of the selling back in March last year; folks needed to raise money RIGHT NOW, which meant selling all their shit RIGHT NOW, which meant stonks went down, which caused a cascade of margin calls and liquidations for folks that were levered to the tits.
Fact #4: Indices are at all-time-highs, every sentiment indicator is at MAXIMUM EUPHORIA, but volatility is rising
See: any fucking chart
As one of the greatest autists of our time once said, "be fearful when others are greedy."
Everyone and their mother is levered to the tits; why wouldn't you be, the fed is handing out free loans to anyone with a pulse! That's great cause it makes stonks go up really fast, but if stonks start going down, they're also gonna go down really fucking fast too. Any selling will get further amplified by option gamma, the same forces that are propelling Gamestop in every direction simultaneously, and the same forces that propelled the markets upwards (particularly the big tech stonks) after the march crash.
Conclusion: We are set up perfectly for a deep, violent correction.
If you're a hibernating 🌈🐻 , starving for some 🌈🐻 porn, I have just the thing for you: this could turn into a full-on market crash if it really, really gets going.
The more volatile the memes get, the more volatile the market is going to get. The more volatile the market gets, the more selling has to happen. The more selling, the more volatility, and boy does this escalate quickly (For those of you budding autists and retards that were literally born yesterday, just know that this feedback loop has happened many times before, like this time almost a year ago).
HOWEVER, I would also like to note that this is 1000% divorced from the actual economy. Any dip will be violent and short-lived. Do not panic and BTFD, you smelly bundle of sticks. There's a lot of dry powder on the sidelines that missed the dip in march and are still pissed about it (such as yours truly, who was too busy being a 🌈🐻), and they would LOVE a chance to buy back into the market at a low-ish price.
My recommendation: Do NOT be levered to the tits right now. Maybe toss a few dollars into way OTM spy puts a few weeks out, or longer, as a hedge against your long positions. Do NOT go all-in poots, cause stonks only go up and wall street is actively working on ways to defuse this bomb.
But be ready for stonks to go down VERY quickly for a little while. It can happen, and if it does, it's gonna get ugly.
My positions: ALL-IN GME, except for a bunch of March spy puts I'm gonna buy tomorrow cause I'm a gambling degenerate.
NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE.

What’s up guys? As you all obviously know, this sub has garnered a nuclear amount of attention as of recent, having been flatlined at the million mark & jumping to about 6 million in the past week and a half.
I know that when this insanity simmers down and the market is no longer on “super mega fucking easy just buy and close your eyes” mode, a lot of you noobs will be wiped - either by your lack of motivation to learn about the way the market works outside of GME & AMC, or you’ll literally just lose all of your money. That’s sad, I hate to see it, but that’s the way it is.
But for the noobs that have been inspired by this weeks events & are determined to leave the poor house, or the ones with a new outlet & way to channel your degenerate gambling urges that plan on sticking around a while; here are some moments to brush up on that’ll help you better understand the history of this sub:
Let’s start off with a classic: u/BryGuySaysHi drinks his own piss because SPY closes green. Really makes it clear that some members of this community belong in a mental hospital. Original post - here
GUH, the legend of u/ControlTheNarrative: Lost $60,000 of money he essentially didn’t have on AAPL puts within about 10 minutes. Our friend KamikazeCash does a great job dissecting the scenario. - here.
Trevor Milton, arguably the most hated man in WSB history prior to this weeks events is exposed by Hindenburg research - here
One of my personal favorites, u/BearIncarnate loses his life savings betting heavy on SPY puts that would have paid out in the high six figures if he had bought them a week later. - here.
PRPL guys: Half of the sub gets gaped betting on a mattress company because a random guy said he had a vision from god where it was prophesied that they were the future - here.
Martin Shkreli, disgraced “pharma bro” hosts AMA in wallstreetbets from prison - here.
Some of the first TSLA DD I remember seeing. Where Elon became papa. The company that showed us there was nothing separating us from becoming millionaires other than timing & patience - here.
Last but not least, Mr. Diamond Balls himself. Took a rash of shit for two years but he showed us the way - here.
Im definitely missing a lot, feel free to add any more that you remember. Point is, members old and new, were happy to have ya here. 🙏🏾💎

President Donald Trump announced he and First Lady Melania Trump had tested positive for the virus and will begin their quarantine and recovery process immediately. The news comes after it was announced that close presidential aide Hope Hicks tested positive Wednesday evening.
Megathread Part I

Submissions that may interest you

SUBMISSION	DOMAIN
Trump, first lady to quarantine after top aide tests positive for coronavirus	thehill.com
Trump flew to New Jersey for a fundraiser, reportedly after learning Hope Hicks had COVID-19 symptoms	theweek.com
Putin says Trump's 'inherent vitality' will see him through COVID-19	reuters.com
Trump in 'quarantine process' after top aide gets COVID-19	sfgate.com
Trump in ‘Quarantine Process' After Top Aide Gets COVID-19	nbcwashington.com
President Donald Trump, first lady to quarantine after top aide tests positive for COVID-19	upi.com
Trump in ‘quarantine process’ after top aide gets COVID-19	bostonherald.com
Trump's positive Covid-19 test throws country into fresh upheaval	amp.cnn.com
Putin offers Trump wishes of 'sincere support' after positive coronavirus test	thehill.com
Trump tests positive for COVID-19: What happens if the president cannot perform his duties?	wftv.com
President Trump and first lady Melania test positive for COVID-19	cbsnews.com
Fears for Joe Biden after Trump tests positive for Covid	theguardian.com
Trump's positive Covid test was a surprise that many saw coming	theguardian.com
Biden Will Get Urgent COVID-19 Test After Trump’s Diagnosis, Says Report	thedailybeast.com
Vice President Mike Pence and second lady test negative for coronavirus following Trump's positive diagnosis	cnbc.com
VP Mike Pence tests negative and 'remains in good heath,' after Trump tests positive for COVID-19	timesunion.com
The Finance 202: Stock futures dive on the news that Trump has coronavirus	washingtonpost.com
Putin wished Trump a speedy recovery after his COVID-19 diagnosis, and said his 'innate vitality' will see him through	businessinsider.com
Mike Pence and wife Karen test negative for coronavirus after Trump diagnosis	independent.co.uk
China’s state media outlet mocks Trump for contracting coronavirus	nypost.com
Inb4 trump has now "contracted" coronavirus cos his team knew he f****d up the first debate that bad that any further appearance would be detrimental to his campaign.	sbs.com.au
Putin says Trump's 'inherent vitality' will see him through COVID-19	reuters.com
Mike Pence and wife Karen test negative for coronavirus after Trump diagnosis	independent.co.uk
Trump tests positive for COVID-19: Pence tests negative, Biden reportedly getting test	usatoday.com
Timeline: How Trump Has Downplayed The Coronavirus Pandemic	npr.org
Trump's coronavirus diagnosis presents America with new clear, present dangers	axios.com
Biden to get tested Friday morning following Trump COVID-19 positive test: report	thehill.com
The virus spares no one’: World reacts to Trump’s positive coronavirus test	washingtonpost.com
Shock, sympathy, mockery: World reacts to Trump infection - CBC News	cbc.ca
Trump’s Covid diagnosis renews testing debate on Capitol Hill	politico.com
Mike Pence, who will assume the presidency if Trump is incapacitated, has tested negative for COVID-19	businessinsider.com
Biden wishes Trump, first lady 'swift recovery' after positive COVID-19 tests	thehill.com
MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell Shouts Out Unproven COVID-19 'Cure' To Trump	huffpost.com
Age, obesity put Trump at high risk for severe coronavirus infection	axios.com
Chinese state media mocks Trump's positive virus test: 'Paid the price for his gamble to play down' pandemic	thehill.com
Older, overweight and male: Trump's COVID risk factors make him vulnerable	reuters.com
President Trump’s positive Covid-19 test throws country into fresh upheaval	mercurynews.com
Trump’s Covid-19 Diagnosis Reshapes Election a Month From Vote	bloomberg.com
MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell Shouts Out Unproven COVID-19 ‘Cure’ To Trump	m.huffpost.com
Trump’s positive coronavirus test will keep him out of swing states he hasn't visited yet	independent.co.uk
QAnon Believers Think Trump Got COVID On Purpose Because of Course They Do - QAnon followers believe the virus is fake, but also that Trump has it. And they're "dangerously hype" about it.	vice.com
Biden says he's 'praying for the health and safety" of Trump after the president's COVID-19 diagnosis	businessinsider.com
Keller: Will Voters Punish Trump For Deriding Coronavirus Precautions?	boston.cbslocal.com
‘Wear A God Damn Mask,’ Joe Kennedy Tweets While Wishing Trump Fast Covid Recovery	boston.cbslocal.com
New York Times slammed for suggesting Trump might not remain on ballot after coronavirus diagnosis	foxnews.com
Trump joked while people suffered with Covid. Well, is now the time to stop?	theguardian.com
Pence, second lady test negative for coronavirus after Trump's positive result	thehill.com
Coronavirus: Pelosi says Trump’s failure to wear masks at rallies was ‘brazen invitation’	independent.co.uk
Fox's Kilmeade: Trump could serve as positive example if he beats COVID while in 'danger age' of 74	thehill.com
White House wanted to keep Hope Hicks's positive COVID-19 test private: report	thehill.com
Trump experiencing ‘mild symptoms’ after coronavirus diagnosis	cnbc.com
Trump experiencing 'mild symptoms' after coronavirus diagnosis	cnbc.com
Trump’s strange pre-spin on his coronavirus diagnosis: It came from military, police who want to ‘hug’ and ‘kiss’ you	washingtonpost.com
Minnesota congressmen traveled with Trump before, after Duluth rally and positive COVID-19 test	duluthnewstribune.com
White House official: Trump experiencing ‘mild’ symptoms of coronavirus after positive test	apnews.com
Putin sends Trump a telegram offering ‘sincere support’ after positive coronavirus test	marketwatch.com
RNC chair Ronna McDaniel has tested positive for coronavirus following Trump diagnosis	independent.co.uk
Trump’s Behavior Was ‘Brazen Invitation’ for the Coronavirus, Pelosi Says	thedailybeast.com
Trump, first lady positive for virus; he has 'mild symptoms'	apnews.com
Trump, first lady positive for virus; he has ‘mild symptoms’	apnews.com
Donald Trump has 'mild symptoms' after contracting coronavirus	news.sky.com
President Donald Trump's coronavirus infection draws international sympathy and a degree of schadenfreude	eu.usatoday.com
Gretchen Whitmer: Donald Trump's COVID-19 diagnosis 'wakeup call to every single American'	freep.com
Kushner, Ivanka Trump test negative for COVID-19	thehill.com
Tracking Trump: Where the president was and who he came in contact with before announcing his positive coronavirus test	marketwatch.com
Of Course Donald Trump Got Covid	newrepublic.com
Trump has ‘mild symptoms’ after testing positive for COVID-19	wkow.com
Trump and Melania test positive for Covid.	foxnews.com
Leftists Cheer News Trump, Hope Hicks Infected With COVID-19: ‘I Hope They Both Die’	dailywire.com
White House coronavirus adviser Scott Atlas reacts to Trump's coronavirus diagnosis, says 'zero reason to panic'	foxnews.com
Piers Morgan rips mockery of Trump after contracting COVID-19: 'No better than the man they loathe'	thehill.com
Trump Has ‘Mild Symptoms’ After He and First Lady Test Positive for COVID-19	nbcnewyork.com
US stocks slump after Trump tests positive for virus	bostonglobe.com
Trump’s test shows how Covid-19 might threaten Barrett confirmation	rollcall.com
UK bookmakers stop taking bets on US election after Trump gets Covid-19	edition.cnn.com
WATCH: Trump ignored the science and his own experts on coronavirus — now he's tested positive for COVID-19, while more than 200,000 Americans have died	businessinsider.com
Pelosi: Trump Flouting COVID-19 Guidelines Was 'A Brazen Invitation For This To Happen' - The president, who said he tested positive early Friday, has downplayed the COVID-19 pandemic, even as more than 200,000 Americans have died.	huffpost.com
Trump Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett tests negative for coronavirus	thehill.com
Trump’s pre-spin seems to blame military, police interactions for coronavirus diagnosis	washingtonpost.com
How Many People Has Donald Trump Already Infected With COVID-19?	vanityfair.com
Concern over Biden's possible exposure to COVID-19 after Trump tests positive	abcnews.go.com
RNC chairwoman tests positive for coronavirus after she was with President Trump, who has COVID	nydailynews.com
Donald Trump's Positive COVID-19 Announcement Becomes His Most Liked Tweet Ever	newsweek.com
Hicks, hubris and not a lot of masks: the week Trump caught Covid	theguardian.com
'We continue to pray': Joe Biden offers thoughts, prayers to President Trump for speedy recovery after coronavirus test	usatoday.com
Nancy Pelosi says Trump’s behavior was ‘brazen invitation’ after COVID-19 infection	nypost.com
Pelosi says Trump's actions were a 'brazen invitation' for a positive COVID-19 test, calls his diagnosis 'very sad' and 'tragic'	businessinsider.com
Conspiracy theorists believe Trump is using COVID results to postpone the election — Many online are calling b.s. amid the shocking news.	dailydot.com
A Steelworker Who Sat In The Debate Hall On Trump’s Positive Coronavirus Test: “It’s Frustrating”	buzzfeednews.com
President Trump showing mild symptoms after testing positive for COVID-19: officials	nydailynews.com
Mitch McConnell says the next presidential debate could be held remotely via videoconference after Trump tests positive for COVID-19	businessinsider.com
Trump experiencing mild Covid symptoms: Why the first week matters	nbcnews.com
Trump had close contact with "dozens" on trip after White House learned he was exposed to COVID-19. Trump traveled to a fundraiser after Hope Hicks already tested positive and he was "feeling poorly"	salon.com
Trump Kept Regular Schedule After Learning Close Aide Had Covid	bloomberg.com
Map: President Trump’s travels the week he tested positive for Covid-19	nbcnews.com
QAnon, the far-right, and some left-wingers are all spreading conspiracies about Trump's COVID-19 diagnosis	businessinsider.com
GOP donors panic after coming close to Trump at fundraiser hours before his positive Covid-19 test	cnbc.com
Trump experiencing "mild symptoms" of the Coronavirus	newsday.com
Biden, Harris express wishes for speedy 'recovery' after Trump's positive coronavirus test	foxnews.com
Trump and Melania 'paid the price': Chinese propaganda mocks president after COVID-19 diagnosis - The editor-in-chief of one of China's state-run media outlets suggested that President Donald Trump and the US first lady, Melania Trump, "paid the price" by contracting the coronavirus.	businessinsider.com
Putin sends Trump a telegram to wish him speedy recovery from COVID-19: agencies cite Kremlin (Reuters)	reuters.com
Trump coronavirus: Pence ‘praying for full recovery’ of president and first Lady Melania after positive test	independent.co.uk
After Trump's COVID-19 diagnosis, Trump, Biden appearances in Arizona next week unclear	azcentral.com
Trump’s coronavirus infection is an indictment of his approach to the pandemic - The diagnosis is another reminder of his administration’s failure on Covid-19.	vox.com
“No one knows where this is going to go”: Pandemonium inside the White House as Trump contracts COVID-19	vanityfair.com
Trump experiencing mild symptoms from COVID-19	telegraph.co.uk
Judge Amy Coney Barrett tests negative for COVID-19 after Trump contracts virus	nydailynews.com
President Trump apparently has COVID-19	thebulletin.org
Stocks Fall After Trump Tests Positive for Covid-19	nytimes.com
Twitter users predicted Trump's October COVID-19 diagnosis	dailydot.com
White House learned of Hicks's positive test before Trump left for fundraiser: Meadows	thehill.com
[GOP donors 'freaking out' after coming close to Trump at fundraiser hours before his positive Covid-19 test](https://www.cnbc.com/2020/10/02/gop-donors-panic-after-coming-close-to-trump-at-fundraiser-hours-before-positive-covid-19-test.html?__source=sharebar	twitter&par=sharebar)
Chris Wallace Says He's Getting Tested for Coronavirus After Being Exposed to Trump During Debate — "I don't think there's any question it's going to raise questions again about how seriously the president has taken the coronavirus," Wallace said Friday.	people.com
Trump's Covid diagnosis upends campaign, presents challenge for Biden — "This election isn't about Trump getting Covid, it's about America getting Covid," one Democratic strategist said.	nbcnews.com
Trump tests positive for COVID-19: Trump 'feeling mild symptoms,' but 'energetic'; Bidens praying for Trumps - live updates	usatoday.com
At 74 and obese, Covid-19 could be very serious for Donald Trump	telegraph.co.uk
John Cleese Revels in Donald Trump's COVID-19 Diagnosis — The 'Monty Python' icon has made it clear in the past he is not a fan of the president's and often criticizes him via social media.	hollywoodreporter.com
What Trump’s Positive Coronavirus Test Means for the Presidential Campaign	newyorker.com
Pelosi: Trump Flouting COVID-19 Guidelines Was ‘A Brazen Invitation For This To Happen’	m.huffpost.com
The Surprising Leftists Who Actually Wished Trump Well After COVID Diagnosis	townhall.com
How Will Trump’s Positive COVID-19 Test Affect The Election?	fivethirtyeight.com
Trump campaign did not notify Biden of positive coronavirus test	thehill.com
President Trump has ‘mild symptoms’ after testing positive for the coronavirus	opb.org
Trump downplayed Hope Hicks' Covid diagnosis on Fox hours before announcing he also tested positive	cnn.com
Mary Trump Slams President After Coronavirus Diagnosis: ‘Wear a F*cking Mask’	thedailybeast.com
Trump's age and weight could put him at higher risk for severe coronavirus infection	cbsnews.com
Will Trump’s COVID-19 Infection Change the Way He Manages the Pandemic? It Didn’t for the Leaders of Brazil and the U.K.	time.com
Trump's busy week before his positive Covid-19 test – in pictures - US news	theguardian.com
Timeline of Donald Trump’s activities in week coronavirus hit home	mlive.com
Global stocks fall, dollar gains after Trump gets coronavirus	uk.reuters.com
The latest coronavirus test results for Trump’s advisers and allies	washingtonpost.com
Sen Rob Portman, Rep Jim Jordan, Jon Husted will get COVID tests after being around Donald Trump	beaconjournal.com
Trump’s coronavirus infection is the result of his deadly, foolish recklessness	latimes.com
Positive! Trump’s Covid Bungling Now Takes a Personal Toll	thenation.com
Boris Johnson, who almost died of covid-19, wishes Trump a ‘speedy recovery’	washingtonpost.com
Did President Trump Refer to the Coronavirus as a 'Hoax'?	snopes.com
The world was already in chaos before Trump's COVID-19 diagnosis, and now there is more uncertainty than ever	businessinsider.com
Joe Biden has tested negative for coronavirus after Trump tests positive	vox.com
Trump says he and first lady have tested positive for the coronavirus	washingtonpost.com
Trump has coronavirus: Biden tests negative for COVID-19 after sharing debate stage with president - WATCH LIVE	abc7ny.com
'Not a Tragic Accident—A Crime Scene': Critics Say Trump Covid Diagnosis a 'Culmination' of His Deadly Pandemic Response	commondreams.org
After Trump's Positive Test, Here's The Status Of The Line Of Succession	npr.org
Trump suggested US troops or police were to blame for infecting White House staff just before he tested positive for COVID-19	businessinsider.com
Democratic nominee Joe Biden tests negative for coronavirus after potential exposure, Trump's diagnosis	cnbc.com
Schumer demands Senate coronavirus testing program after Trump diagnosis	thehill.com
Flights for Donald Trump's Wisconsin rallies canceled after president tests positive for COVID-19	madison.com
Joe Biden tests negative for coronavirus after Trump tests positive	businessinsider.com
Trump's coronavirus diagnosis guarantees this election will be about everything he has tried to avoid	cnn.com
The stock market's fear gauge surges 12% after President Trump tests positive for COVID-19	news.sky.com
Trump Team Knew of Hicks’ Positive Test—but Went Ahead With Golf Club Fundraiser	thedailybeast.com
InfoWars’ DeAnna Lorraine Claims ‘the Left’ May Have Given Trump COVID-19 Through His Debate Mic	rightwingwatch.org
Getting COVID-19 Is Probably Not a Brilliant Ploy for Sympathy That Will Boost Trump’s Reelection Chances	slate.com
House Probe Into Trump's Failed Covid-19 Response Shows "Unprecedented, Coordinated" Political Interference	commondreams.org
This Republican senator is the early leader for worst take on Trump's coronavirus diagnosis	cnn.com
Chris McDonald ‘Wouldn’t Put it Past’ Democrats to Infect Trump With COVID-19 to Stop the Presidential Debates	rightwingwatch.org
Trump supporter potentially exposed to COVID-19 from RNC chair's visit	cincinnati.com
GOP senator on Judiciary panel tests positive for Covid-19 days after meeting with Trump's nominee	cnn.com
Today’s coronavirus news: Ontario sets new record with 732 reported cases; Trump, first lady test positive for virus; Biden tests negative	thestar.com
[Politico] Trump coronavirus diagnosis leaves lawmakers exposed	politico.com
RNC chair Ronna McDaniel says she has COVID-19, hours after Trump	6abc.com
Nancy Pelosi Says Donald Trump's Actions Were 'Brazen Invitation' to Catch COVID	newsweek.com
Trump Has Repeatedly Downplayed COVID-19. What Will He Do Now That He Has It?	buzzfeednews.com
No, Trump Isn’t Faking COVID In A Master Scheme To Vanquish Biden	talkingpointsmemo.com
Trump Could Only Ignore the Reality of Coronavirus for So Long	jacobinmag.com
Trump’s ‘positive for COVID-19’ tweet is his most ‘liked’ post ever	marketwatch.com
Trump’s refusal to wear a face mask is a catastrophe A face mask might have protected Trump — and the people around him — from the coronavirus.	vox.com
Schumer says Trump coronavirus diagnosis shows what happens 'when you ignore science'	foxnews.com
Sen. Mike Lee, who met with Trump Supreme Court pick Amy Coney Barrett, tests positive for COVID-19	usatoday.com
Nancy Pelosi says continuity of government is ‘always in place’ after Trump tests positive for Covid-19	cnbc.com
Naomi Klein: I Fear Trump Will Exploit His COVID Infection to Further Destabilize the Election	democracynow.org
PolitiFact - Trump’s health and COVID-19: Here’s what we know	politifact.com
Confusion, concern infiltrate White House after Trump’s positive test	politico.com
Putin, Who Has Spent Almost Six Months In Isolation To Avoid The Coronavirus, Sent Trump A Get Well Note	buzzfeednews.com
Trumpworld delighted in cruelty. Now that Trump has COVID, it demands empathy.	businessinsider.com
Where Trump went (and who he was with) leading up to his coronavirus diagnosis	politico.com
Biden tests negative for COVID-19, reminds folks to 'wear a mask' after being mocked by Trump for mask at debate	usatoday.com

The hosts say that his proposal made them teary.

• Zac says he appreciates that. And that the proposal was very heartfelt.

Asked to expand on his story of addiction and recovery.

• People got to see him through their TVs. But one of the things he was proud of was that he could be authentic and be himself. And he credits that as a direct result of recovery.
• Those who know him know that he is not ashamed to talk about and share his story.
• “I am aware of the fact that everything in my life stems off of my journey and what I had to do to get to where I am today.”
• He has dedicated his life to helping others and is extremely passionate about it. He didn’t know this was his calling until he got sober.
• He has always loved human connection and even when he was partying, he was the guy who made sure everyone had their drinks and was okay.

First notice of the addiction being a problem.

• He starts by saying that people in recovery are not handicapped. They can do everything other people are able to do. There is a stigma which says otherwise. But he mentions that recovery is almost like a superpower.
• Addiction does not discriminate.
• He grew up with two badass parents who taught him the value of money and how to respect people amidst other things, an older brother who loved him and two sisters who were angels. He had a normal upbringing in a house with a white picket fence.
• While in high school at a Christmas party, some older guys handed him a beer and he ran back to the party crying and complained to his parents about them.
• He had a year to think about taking that first drink. And by the next year, he was ready to take that step. And he started lying almost immediately.
• Lied to his parents about where he was. “The next day I still opened presents and what I got from it was that I could lie and get away with it. And that continued for the next 15 years, till I got 27.”
• Lying is a big part of substance abuse and alcoholism because the people around want to believe in you. No one wants to get caught and hence they turn to lying.
• The drinking behind the garage became like his secret and once school started, he thought it was his social responsibility to be the head of the party & get everyone what they wanted.
• He knew from a young age that his fantasies with drinks was going to land him in trouble.
• He played three sports – football, basketball, baseball – in high school, had a lot of cool opportunities his way, starting kissing girls for the first time…and yet all he cared about was drinking on Fridays and weekends.
• Nothing else mattered after that drink was with him. He felt panicked in the absence of drinks.
• Loved high school because it got him guys who were doing the same thing. Says that in his senior year if anyone had picked any of his 15 friends and said they needed help, it wouldn’t be a lie.
• The way they were drinking wasn’t normal. But today everyone is at a better place.
• Says he struggles dealing with casefiles of teenagers now. Understands how difficult it is for parents. Doesn’t know the solution and what to tell them – do they push the guys into recovery or let them grow out of the phase?

Challenging part about working in recovery.

• Every case is different. He had to hit rock bottom to survive today but some of his friends went into college and grew out of the alcohol phase.
• When someone has a disease like cancer or diabetes, there is a set procedure to follow in order to get better. For recovery from addiction, that is not the case.
• When the host talks about her family member returning from rehab, Zac cheers her on and says every person who has been through that process needs to be applauded.
• When people ask him if staying in the Bachelorette environment was difficult, he laughs and says he could have done it in his sleep because he had been in rehab for 4.5 months.

Family’s importance and that dynamics.

• The families are the unsung heroes in most cases. It’s always tough on the families the most.
• Though it sounds gimmicky, love can help people get out of addiction and through recovery. Continued support to help loved ones through this can save a life.
• Doesn’t appreciate putting 14-15 yr olds in handcuff during interventions because the trauma associated with that goes a long way. And is often times more than the trauma endured afteduring recovery.
• Has had to do quite a lot of adolescent interventions. Has to deal with adoptive parents, divorced parents, 2 or 3 sets of parents, etc.

His experience and his family.

• Studied Sports management at York College. Met his ex-wife in his sophomore year and in his head he thought he would graduate and do life the normal way. Wanted to have a family like he had while growing up.
• “She ended up saving my life. I can safely say that today. She is a wonderful human and I don't have one bad thing to say about her.”
• But she was a part of the puzzle that he was using as a front so that no one would question his addiction. And for the longest time he did a good job at hiding, lying and being the life of the party. Everyone wanted to celebrate his success.
• But when he was working his first job, he rented a house with his college buddies on the shore and suddenly felt dizzy in the car. Saw kaleidoscope every time he closed his eyes. Got it checked at the X-ray place right next to where they were, turned out to be a brain tumour, got it operated the next day.
• Completely fine today. But during the 20+ days he was in the hospital for the surgery, he was never alone. His family was always there – at least one member, at all times.
• “If love could get me sober, I would have gotten sober in that moment. But it didn’t.”
• He couldn’t wait to go out and party again. But also started loving the pain meds that the nurses were pushing into him. Thought no one would say anything to him because he was a hero who had survived a tumour.
• Had the biggest wedding. Held everyone in his life as hostages as he continued to push things into himself. “I am a lovable guy and so people continued to turn their heads away from my bullshit.”

Definition of hitting a rock bottom.

• There is no straightforward answer to that.
• Has seen 16-year-olds smoking pot. Marijuana is probably one of the biggest issues and that is continuing to build.
• Dealt with guys who have been 20 years sober and also with people who have been to rehab 30/35 times & it still wasn’t enough.
• No one has the answer.
• Personal experience: Was sleeping on the streets. Not because he had nowhere to go, but because he was running away from people.
• Went to rehab the first time and relapsed within five days. His wife left and that still wasn’t enough for him to sober up.
• In addition to everything, he was gambling. He owed money to a bookie and he convinced his dad to pay that debt (not telling him the real reason).
• Through everything, he still managed to keep up a front with the perfect house with the wife and cars, car drives and dogs…
• One day when his mom and ex-wife were out for drinks, one of his friends outed him to them and told them how bad his problem was.
• His mom came back immediately and questioned him. He had seen a billboard of a treatment facility and drove himself to it. Was their first drive-in client. Stayed there for 28 days (first rehab). Did everything he was asked to do. But he was full of shit.
• At the back of their minds, everyone knew his issues but no one said anything until that one friend stood up.
• His wife was given a set of tools to detect if he ever relapsed, and as soon as he brought drugs into the house, she caught him.
• “And thank God for her that she kept that boundary. She peaced out and she called her dad. He came and got her. That was the last time I was in that house. Props to her because she listened, and she saved my life. She decided she was done but I had to go on for another eight months to hit that rock bottom.”
• It got dark in those moments.
• His ex-wife was the first person who stopped him from partying. It wasn’t malicious but was filled with a lot of love. With tears in her eyes, she had informed him that she couldn’t do that life anymore.
• A first couple of weeks into rehab, Zac blamed his ex-wife for everything. He wanted to place the blame on her even after a year.
• Eventually, recovery taught him to be accountable. He has learnt to evaluate everything along with his behaviour and look at where he is being selfish or dishonest. And he has learnt that he cannot control others, and can only manage with he is doing.
• His story can make it into a book because he lived a very gnarly life. He accustomed himself to being on the streets, knew the exact neighbourhoods which could get what he needed, dealt with people who would give him the drugs, and got his gall bladder cut out to get the pain meds.

Sobriety

• NYC was his do-over. Which is why he loves it so much and preferred to show his NYC life to Tayshia on the show.
• On his first days of being in NY, his mentor (who helped him become sober) told him to find three guys that he could trust and have a relationship with. It was the best advice because it allowed him to get into the sober community and meet people who were doing better while being like him.
• His theory about recovery changed from people thinking how shit life was to doing great things in life, once he got sober.
• He realized that sobriety allowed him to look people in the eye, admit when he is wrong, and show up whenever needed. That is what he wanted Tayshia to know.
• He thinks he is a reflection of the recovery community and doesn’t want to deliberately make mistakes and get people to think recovering addicts cannot do certain things. Or be named irresponsible.
• Asked if Recovery or sobriety is stressful, he answers before the question ends, “No”. Having his mom crying and not knowing where he was when he was shooting drugs, or thinking about how to get the drugs in the past was stressful.
• “Having to tell the truth and show up, I feel more. But it’s not stressful.”
• He thinks humility and compassion can take people a long way.

Release Recovery and his work.

• It is a family and they try to make recovery fun.
• His best friend, who majored in social works and had a similar journey with addiction, Justin co-founded this organization in 2017. Three facilities – 2 for men and 1 for women above 18 years. 40 beds in total.
• He hates calling it a business but understands that it is one, at the end of the day.
• Works into sober living and getting the recovered people back into the real life & transition into regular life. The program is for three months.
• Has had clients from 82-year men to teenagers with them.
• At Release, they create the home environment and meals are a big deal to everyone there. Family dinner times and positive conversations are a part of this unit.
• Justin and Zac do a lot of consultation, helping and guiding people recognize and deal with loved ones or themselves suffering from addiction.
• Recovery takes a lot of money and it’s difficult for the underprivileged to seek help.
• So, he has started the foundation where they are running marathons and selling t-shirts and raising money to fund those who do not have the ability to spend thousands of recoveries.
• Women and POC are not treated right in the treatment community. Not many cater to these demographics and all the proceeds from his foundation are heading to help them.
• Healthcare system right now sucks. There are very few government aides which can help underprivileged. But it’s not enough.
• They try to call places and help leasing out beds to people whenever they can but not all states have equal facilities and “it sucks”.
• “We need to do something more.”
• Plugs shatterproof.
• “Everyone who needs treatment… deserves that.”

Recovery and life in general

• Story telling and sharing everyone’s stories is important. Since COVID, recovering addicts have not been able to go to in-person recovery meetings, and that has harmed a lot. Connecting with others with the same experience is necessary and a lot of addicts have found it hard to get clean since last March. Because they do not have that community.
• Had to break a lot of habits, get connected with the recovery community, stopped thinking what might not look cool, and started to hang out with new people who had a similar experience to get through the initial recovery phase. See a therapist is his answer to some people.
• The first 6-12 months are tough but if you are mentally tough with a strong & loving family next to you…one can pull through. “I am living proof of that. But you have to have people who know what is going on with you.”
• People usually do not ask him what is in his glass when he attends events. On rare occasions that happens. But usually, it’s people projecting their insecurities or someone looking to have a drink with him that asks him that question.
• Has always been open with people he has dated. Like with Tayshia on the show. He wouldn’t pursue that relationship if she was not okay with his past.
• That confidence and self-belief is a long journey he has had to get through to.
• People have written to him since being back from the show, and he has tried to write & answer everyone back.
• A lot of people and family members have reached out to him with their stories of themselves or loved ones. Some who were lucky, some who weren’t. Tries to get in touch with everyone and send a message. Those stories keep him going and get him to try and help more people.
• Reiterated how his family stood by him for 4.5 months for him to get his act together when they put on a brave face & faced life head on, while obsessing how he was doing. It is not fair on families.
• The support groups in the form of the families are heroes in his eyes. They are lifesavers and the ones who truly deserve all the praise.
• “When you say, ‘I love you’ to someone who is black out drunk, putting that energy out into the world…that person hears you whether you want to know it or not.”
• He mentions that even if one person listened to the podcast and got help from it, it was a job well done for him. Appreciates the hosts (and mentions certain episodes in passing which give the impression that he researched the podcast before coming on) for spreading awareness.

WHAT A GUY!!!
Very rarely do you hear someone who is so self-aware, kind, humble and eloquent.
Please listen to this because the hosts were amazing too. They let him speak and he didn't hold back.

Note: I was technically supposed to post this earlier this week, but noticed that no one was signed up for today (plus I was super busy earlier), so I'm posting a bit late, under a throwaway account! Fair warning: I'm VERY verbose, so this will be long!
Section One: Assets and Debt
As I mentioned above, I make $56k per year as an administrator in higher education. My husband (K) just got a raise to making $155k per year. He works as a lawyer, has been in the workforce for about 12 years. I won't get into too many details but he works for a small boutique firm, not Biglaw. He also sometimes gets a yearly bonus of around $10k-20k but it's not guaranteed or anything like that. K and I have totally combined finances, so the below numbers are for both of us. I have a humanities PhD but I decided to leave academia and find an alt-ac job. My current position has good work-life balance (I never work past 5 pm), but pays terribly and my university is very badly run. I'm hoping to leave higher education all together in the future and am currently enrolled in a certificate program to try to make a career transition to instructional design.
The big elephant in the room is that my husband, K, makes a lot more money than me. When we first met, he was paying off massive amounts of student loans and making much less, and I was debt free with a lot of savings, so we both spent about the same amount. Now he makes 3x what I make and we are both debt-free, so the difference is much more noticeable. We do argue about money sometimes (more in the past), but the reality is that I have a humanities PhD and will likely never out earn him, and he knew that when I married him, lol. Because of all the labor I do around the house and in our lives to support him as he works a much more intense job, I was very clear that I believed we should split our finances equally as soon as we got married. We don't have separate accounts and we generally check in with one another whenever we are planning to spend more than $100. This system works for us for now.
I also want to address the question about parental or family support. Although I technically paid all of my own bills since I got my Bachelor's degree, my parents supported me a lot by paying for my flights home to visit at Christmas or in the summer as Xmas presents/birthday presents. My parents also paid for my undergraduate degree (and K's parents paid for his undergraduate degree as well). They also gave us about $15k to pay for our wedding.
Finally, my parents recently gave me $20k as an "early inheritance." They told me they plan to do this every year (depending on the stock market). We put this money into a brokerage. I don't consider my parents rich, as they both worked hourly jobs in health care my entire life (as a nurse and respiratory therapist - both with only associate's degrees). We never owned a new car, when we went on vacation we stayed in hostels , and shopped almost exclusively at Goodwill. But they scrimped and saved and now they have over $1 million in a retirement account. So I want to acknowledge my financial privilege in that I came from this kind of background. K's parents are similar.
Retirement Balance: $186k (combination of 401k, 403b, 457, 2 Roth IRAs, and taxable brokerage account).
Equity: None, we rent.
Savings account balance: Approximately $45k.
Checking account balance: Right now, around 8k.
Credit card debt: Right now, around $3k. But we pay it off each month with our checking account balance.
Student loan debt: $0. We finally paid off my husband’s law school loans (around $130k), last year. I didn’t have any student loans from undergrad (parents paid) and my MA & PhD were fully funded.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I’ve been working in my current field for 3 years. I started off making about $53k and got tiny 2% “merit increases” twice. Then in July my payroll title was changed, which triggered a required raise of about $2k. (I am dramatically underpaid).
Before my current position, I was in academia. I worked as a visiting assistant professor for one year at my alma mater (made $50k for 9 months of work) and before that I was a graduate student for 7 years. I was paid $18k-21k in stipends each year and my tuition & benefits were covered. Luckily, I lived in a very low cost of living area and this was enough for me to live on without going into debt. I got my PhD in 2017. Before I was a graduate student, I taught English in Japan for three years and made around $36k per year. In high school and college, I had random jobs that provided grocery/spending money, but I was lucky enough to have parents that paid my tuition and my rent in college.
I’m currently trying to make a career change (as you will see in my diary) and enrolled in a certificate program which runs from Autumn 2020 to Spring 2021 in order to help with that.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $7,634. This probably seems low relative to our joint income, but we max out our 401k (K) and 403b (me). I work for the state government, which means I’m also eligible for something called a Deferred Compensation Plan (457b). This is basically the same as a 401k but you can withdraw contributions and gains from the account at any age without penalty (of course, you still have to pay taxes). I also max this out, and the limit is the same as a 401k/403b - $19.5k. Also this number is before K’s raise is accounted for. It won’t increase until his end of February paycheck.
Other deductions - I have health insurance taken out (about $80 a month for me, K’s firm covers his premiums) and taxes. WA has no state taxes, so it’s only federal taxes. I used to have to pay $50 / month for a bus pass (K's was free), but I don’t pay any longer because I’m working from home during COVID.
Final note - the sum I mentioned in the headline includes a variable bonus my husband gets. My base pay is $56k and his is $155k (as of February 1). This year he also got a bonus of $20k, which is set up a bit strangely. About $4k of this was structured as a 3% matching contribution to his 401k and the rest was taxable income. In small law firms, it’s unusual to get any 401k match so this was nice.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: None.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: We get some interest from our savings account… like $25 a month.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: Rent comes to approximately $2,050 total for a one-bedroom apartment. Rent itself is $1886, then we have pet rent ($25 per month), bicycle parking ($15 a month) and water / sewage / gas, which is usually $120-150 (variable cost).
Renters insurance: $157.76, paid annually. $13 a month.
Retirement contribution: In addition to the 401k, 403b, and 457, which all come out before taxes, we max out our Roth IRAs. That means $500 each per month per person (for a yearly total of $6k each). As I noted up top, we match out our 401k and 403b (19,500 each) and our 457. My employee also offers a 7.5% match. K's employee offers a 3% match but it is included in his yearly bonus so it's not guaranteed (confusing).
Savings contribution: We put $500 per month into our emergency fund. We also put about $860 a month into our “sinking fund,” which covers large and small annual or sporadic purchases such as vacations, gifts, Amazon Prime renewal, car insurance and renters insurance, etc.
Investment contribution: $875 per month into a taxable brokerage at Vanguard.
In total, we save about 47% of our gross income. We can do this because we keep our housing cost low relative to our high income, we don’t have any debt remaining, we don’t have any kids or parents who need financial support, and we’re very privileged in a lot of ways. We are hoping to FIRE within 10 years.
Debt payments: None.
Donations: We budget $100 per month for donations, which includes one-time donations as well as some reoccurring donations. My husband does pro bono work as well. I would like to increase this by quite a bit, but I still have a hard time budgeting for donations because I spent 7 years living on approximately $20k a year. To go from that to making more than 10x that amount within 3-4 years is obviously something that I am very privileged for, but it is still hard for me emotionally to comprehend at times.
Electric: ~$50-100 (billed every other month)
Wifi/Cable/Landline: An extortionate $87.12 for slow internet that only works for Zoom calls about half the time. Do I really live in one of the tech cities of the future?
Cellphone: $170 (This includes both service and paying off two new iPhones. We could have paid them off up front, but it was actually cheaper by like $50 to go on a payment plan.)
Subscriptions: BritBox ($7.70), Spotify ($16.50), HBOMax ($16.50), We Hate Movies Patreon (my favorite podcast - $8.81). My parents pay for Netflix and my sister pays for Hulu, and we all share.
Gym membership: None. K and I both run and do yoga with YouTube videos. Before the pandemic, we went to yoga classes pretty frequently in person. I’d like to do some online synchronous yoga classes but find it hard to make time.
Pet expenses: Varies, but I budget $50 per month and also include an emergency fund for my cat’s vet bills in our sinking fund. She’s 11 years old and probably asthmatic, so I know her vet bills are going to increase over time.
Car payment / insurance: We own our car outright. Insurance billed yearly is $2,097, about $174 per month.
Regular therapy: $0
Paid hobbies: Nothing regular, sporadic language classes and art supplies.
Other expenses: Right now I’m doing a certificate to hopefully help with a career change. The total cost for tuition is about $5k and we already saved it up (included in our 'sinking fund') basically through spending less during the pandemic. I’ve paid two quarters so far, and the last quarter (due in March) will be a bit more - about $2.3k.
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Day 1
Morning: I wake up at 5:30 am. Ever since the pandemic, my sleep schedule has been shot. At first, I was so happy not to have to leave the house at 7:15 for my 45 minute bus commute and I slept in a lot. But the stress (and maybe getting old?) has made me an early riser, no matter how much I try to sleep in. I do value my early mornings with just me, my cat, and my coffee, though.
I start work at 8 am and begin by triaging my emails. I have a bunch of deadlines this week, so it’s busier than usual. My job tends to be very seasonal, and sometimes I have a ton of work and sometimes I have none and can work on other longer-term projects. I have a piece of toast for breakfast and place a Whole Foods delivery order for the following day at 10:30 am. We made a meal plan and put everything in the cart the day before ($117.36, including tip).
Afternoon: I have my lunch break from noon to 1 pm. It doesn’t really matter when I take my lunch break, since I’m salaried, but the others in my office are hourly so in the before times we used to always close our office during the same time. I have a piece of leftover delivery pizza and some spinach risotto that I made a few days earlier. I also have half a brownie – the last one from a batch I made a few days ago (K gets the other half). He also has leftovers for lunch.
I should say at this point that both K and I are lucky enough to have been working almost entirely from home since early March. An area near Seattle was one of the first places to get hit by COVID-19, and my state and both of our employers have been taking it very seriously ever since. Working from home hasn’t always been easy since we live in a 600-square foot apartment. Also, there is a three-story townhouse being built directly next door to us and I can hear the pounding in my dreams at this point.
Around 2 pm, I go for a 2-mile run. I feel like some money diarists tend to toss off things like “oh, I went for an easy 7 mile run,” at the drop of a hat, so I want to be clear – running for 2 miles isn’t easy for me; it’s exhausting, annoying, sweaty, and generally gross. Also I am very slow. But it has kept me sane during quarantine.
Meanwhile, my husband goes to our local pet store to get an enzymatic cleaner (our cat peed in one of our suitcases… I think it’s probably a lost cause, but it was basically brand new, so worth a try) and special weight-loss cat food. Our cat is an 11-year-old rescue from the Humane Society and she is a chonky girl. We had to sign a waiver when we adopted her, saying that we understood that she was very overweight, lol. Our vet recommended a special diet food, rather than just restricting her intake as we have been doing, so we will give it a try ($78). My husband also stops buy our local wine store and picks up two bottles. We’ve been doing a dry January, so this will be our first drink for a while ($27.53).
I have a phone interview scheduled for 4 pm – just a preliminary interview with an internal recruiter. It’s the first ‘corporate’ job interview I’ve ever had, since I’ve been in academia my entire life. I’m trying to make a pivot into instructional design / training and development. I’m just excited to get an interview. It seems to go pretty well, but who knows. They tell me they will probably get back to me by the end of this week.
Evening: My husband whips up a random meal of fridge remnants – pesto pasta with sausage and a fridge salad with feta and bell peppers. It’s pretty tasty with a little Sauvignon Blanc. During dinner, we play a card game we call gin rummy, although it bears no resemblance to the actual game. After dinner, I make a chocolate cake with orange buttercream frosting and we watch Cobra Kai.
Daily total: $222.89
Day 2
Morning: Up early again, a piece of toast for breakfast (very exciting). We’re out of eggs until our Whole Foods order arrives. I’m working on creating some tedious but necessary spreadsheets this morning.
Noon: Our Whole Foods order arrives around noon. Excitement! They’ve given us a half-rotten bag of romaine lettuce and substituted pecans for hazelnuts. I should probably just double mask and go to Trader Joe’s myself (our regular spot, only a 5-minute walk from my apartment). I’m just getting anxious about these new variants.
I have leftover meatloaf and spinach risotto again for lunch. Lots of meetings and more organizing spreadsheets in the afternoon. Around 3 pm, I go for my daily ritual - a 20-minute walk around my neighborhood. It’s still raining slightly but I need to get out. Halfway through the walk, I get an email from my apartment manager telling me the apartment will no longer accept debit card payments, direct deposit, or credit card payments for paying rent. In other words, only checks or money orders (?!). Ugh. Our lease is up in 4 months and we will not be renewing our lease. Our last apartment manager was a gambling addict who may have been stealing people’s identities, but by God, he kept things working. Ever since they fired him, this place has been going downhill.
Evening: I check my bank statements to update my budget spreadsheet and realize that I have been billed the wrong amount of rent. They actually charged me less than they should have. I don’t trust my apartment manager not to start charging me a late fee or something for this, so I call them up. They are baffled by how to fix this, which you would think would be the one thing you would want to get right, if you’re renting out apartments.
K cooks dinner – steak with a Roquefort sauce and glazed brussels sprouts. It’s from a French cookbook we recently bought and it is delicious. I work on classwork for my certificate program while he cooks. After dinner, I do the dishes and buy the 13th season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I watch the first episode – lots of shocking twists and turns! I’m planning to watch the rest of the episodes together with my younger sister, M ($22.01).
Daily total: $22.01
Day 3
Morning: K has an 8 am dentist appointment, so he takes off early. He already paid for the work last month, so there’s no charge. I have a piece of toast for breakfast and get to work checking my emails. It’s 8:20 am and the construction crew building a townhouse next door is blasting mariachi music. I’m glad someone is having fun. At least the sun is coming out.
Someone at work has made a critical error, but it wasn’t me, thank God. I was the one who found out about it, but it’s still going to cause a big old headache for me. I’m ready to be done with this job. K and I go for a run so that I can exhaust myself enough to no longer be furious about said careless error.
Noon: I have leftover spinach risotto and meatloaf again – exciting. I’m busy at work but frankly, not a lot going on other than that. Still no word about fixing my rent payments. I’m not really willing to pursue this any further at this point.
Evening: I start making chili (Turkey Chili from the NY Times) and cornbread (from my new cookbook, Jubilee). K is doing some work on our investments when he announces that, somehow, a transfer was scheduled from our checking account to our savings account of $55k (?!) We obviously don’t have $55k in our checking account, so we start frantically trying to figure out what’s going on. Numerous phone calls later, we still don’t know if that was a hack, if my husband somehow mistakenly scheduled the transfer himself, or if the bank messed it up. Either way, it doesn’t seem like any harm was done since the bank with our checking account just declined the transaction. But it seems really strange and worrisome. We get to work changing the passwords on all of our accounts, just in case it was some kind of hack.
After dinner (and chocolate cake), I have a Zoom happy hour with a local friend. We occasionally see each other outside but it’s nice to have a longer chat from the comfort of our living rooms. We both love murder mysteries, so we signed up for a service where a company sends us letters with clues and we try to solve the mystery together. It’s a fun way to stay connected and look forward to something during the pandemic. The service costs about $15 per month, but I paid for it in lump sum for 3 months, so it’s not included in my budget above. I drink some wine and we vent about work (we work at the same place) before getting started on the puzzle.
Daily total: $0
Day 4
Morning: I sleep in a bit, which is nice. Get up around 7 am. My parents are both getting their 2nd vaccine today – they’re both in their 70s and I am so relieved. I send my mom a “congratulations on being vaccinated!” text and we chat for a bit. I have leftover cornbread with honey and butter for breakfast – soooo good.
Work is not particularly exciting today, but someone sends me a last-minute request for something that does not need to be so urgent. I feel annoyed. Still no word from the interviewers on Monday, and I’m beginning to suspect I wasn’t selected to move forward. Too bad. K pays for a Wordpress website for the year (it’s a work-related website, but sadly his work doesn’t reimburse him). It costs $92.48.
Noon: The mariachi music is particularly loud today. I stand out on my balcony in the sun for a while and watch the workers. It’s been interesting seeing a house go up next door in real time, especially since I’m at home all the time. The workers are balancing on the top of the third story wall without, as far as I can see, anything like a safety line. It seems unsafe, but I presume they know what they’re doing.
We booked a cabin for the upcoming weekend in the Hood Canal region of Washington to do some hiking and birdwatching. I want to be as safe as possible and not go to any grocery stores or risk spreading COVID in any way while I’m there, so I place another grocery order with Whole Foods just for some special treats for the weekend. The cabin has a small kitchen and a grill, so we’re planning to make a fancy steak salad on Saturday. I order chips and hummus, some fancy cheese and meats, Tate’s cookies (I’ve heard a lot of good things about these), a baguette, and the ingredients for the steak salad. I also order a few staples I forgot in our last order, like sweet potatoes, more coffee, and half and half. It comes to $87.41, including tip, but that does include like $30 worth of steak. For some reason, I can’t order a small amount of steak online, so I’m planning to freeze half of it for later. (I include this purchase in our vacation fund budget, rather than under our regular grocery budget).
Around 2 pm, K makes a quick trip to our local wine store to buy an Oregon pinot noir and some port to enjoy at the cabin ($59.45). This store has an outdoor walk-up counter where you can tell the owner what you’re looking for, and he brings you some options (the store is way too small to allow customers to enter during Covid). It’s fun to chat with another human being, even briefly.
Evening: After work, we spend a little time rebalancing our investing and retirement accounts. We decide to put more money into bonds and a little bit into REIT’s as a hedge against a potential crash or recession in the future. Then I start making dinner – Broken Eggs (Huevas Rotas) from the NY Times cooking site. You basically cook the potatoes in a skillet in water, spices, and olive oil, and then sauté them to crisp them up once the water evaporates. Then you add onion, lots of garlic, and finally some eggs. It is delicious. I eat it with leftover cornbread while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race season 13 with my sister – we watch the first two episodes. It’s full of twists and turns. A note about this – we have an elaborate procedure for watching shows together developed during quarantine whereby we start the show at the same with an earbud in one ear, while FaceTiming. I also have chocolate cake, of course.
Later, I get an email that I’ve signed up for HBO on Amazon Prime. I definitely have not. I text my mom, who shares my account, and she tells me she signed up by mistake. I cancel right away and luckily they won’t charge us for it.
Meanwhile, K is doing an online Japanese language class over Zoom. He’s been interested in learning ever since we went to Japan last January. I lived in Japan for 3 years so I was able to take us around to a lot of more obscure places and he really enjoyed the trip – it was a blast.
K starts a YouTube yoga class (from Do Yoga With Me – my favorite channel) and I join him for part of it before bed around 10 pm.
Daily total: $239.34
Day 5
Morning: I get up around 7 am and we go for a run first thing. I prefer running early in the morning because there are fewer people to avoid during COVID. We do a different route today – it’s longer (3 miles) but has fewer hills. It’s a slog, as always, but I feel good when I get back right around 8 am. I jump straight onto my computer to start checking work emails and my husband makes us avocado and egg toast for breakfast - it is absolutely delicious.
We talk about how our bathroom smells distinctly mildewy (yay for being a grown-up because I guess this is what we talk about now) and we buy two big buckets of DampRid on Amazon ($26.60). I’ve found this to be a necessity in Seattle. Mid-morning, I take a break from work and start packing for our trip to the cabin.
Noon: I have leftover potatoes and cornbread for lunch, and my husband has the leftover chili. We finish getting ready to leave and head out right after lunch, taking a half day. The only problem is that I have attend a meeting at 3:30 pm, so we head out hoping to get there in time. Our cabin is near Quilcene in the Hood Canal region of Washington, about a 2 hour drive or a 2 hour ferry ride + drive. We are initially planning to take the ferry both ways, but realize that we mistimed the ferry departure, so we drive the whole way instead. Luckily, there’s little traffic mid-day, and we arrive at our Airbnb around 3:00 pm.
The Airbnb is beautiful! It’s a small cabin handmade by the owner, whose house is next door. It’s very rural, with a beautiful view. It’s tiny, but has a little kitchen and a waterfall-style shower with river rocks on the floor. It’s a great place to get away for a short time. Luckily, it also has good reception and I’m able to sit in on my meeting with no problems. My husband also does a little work, and then at 5 pm we’re free!
In our planning, we decided to get takeout on Friday night, since the little kitchen isn’t designed for any serious cooking. We call ahead to a local restaurant to order burgers (one of only 2 restaurants in the whole town). It’s around 5:30 pm and the place is deserted. It’s a microbrewery, but they tell us they haven’t been making beer since COVID-19 hit. None of the workers are wearing masks when I walk in, but they put them on when they see I’m wearing one. I pick up our order - a few bottled beers and burgers and fries ($49.52 including tip).
Back at our Airbnb, we watch Big Trouble in Little China and enjoy our very messy, but delicious, burgers (it costs $4.39 to rent). The movie is very campy but fun. I love silly action movies, as you will see with my other viewing choices. We wrap up the night in a very exciting fashion, eating chocolate cake and watching old episodes of the original Star Trek.
Daily total: $80.51
Day 6
Morning & noon: When we wake up around 8 am, the weather is looking thankfully clear and even sunny! We were expecting rain, so we’re really glad. We decide to go hiking today, and we head out before even having breakfast, with snacks and lunches packed. Our first destination is a hike called Mt. Zion, but unfortunately, we run into enough snow 2 miles before the trailhead that we decide to turn back. We don’t have any traction for our Subaru and don’t want to risk getting stuck on a very narrow mountain road. Instead, we drive another hour or so to the Lena Lake trailhead, a very popular and less strenuous trail. It’s about 7.5 miles roundtrip with 1200 feet of elevation gain.
By this time, it’s around 11:30, but luckily there is still parking. It’s a great hike up, and we run into relatively few people. We always mask up whenever we pass anyone, as does about 50% of the people we meet. The others… not so much. Around a mile from the lake, we start to run into snow. It’s turned into a beautiful sunny day, and I’m loving seeing all this snow! It’s a bit slippery, but not too bad. We make it to the lake mid-day, and it’s super jammed – there’s only a small viewpoint accessible, so everyone is crowded in there. I feel a bit uneasy with all the unmasked people, but we manage to find a spot away from the crowd and sit down to eat our lunch of apples, chips, and energy bars. There are a ton of robber jays there (Canada Jays) which try to eat our chips. It is fun watching them, but I’m annoyed to see some kids feeding them – it’ll just make them that much more aggressive. Bad trail manners.
On our way back down, we get stuck behind a group of 5 unmasked adults, who refuse to cede the narrow trail to faster hikers. I’m a slow hiker myself, so, to be clear, I’m not angry at slower walkers being on the trail but have some self-awareness and let people pass! especially if you’re going to go hiking in a big group during a pandemic! We finally get back down and head back to our Airbnb.
Evening: Back home, we explore some of the trails our Airbnb host has set up around his extensive property, and then relax on the deck. The sun is breaking through the clouds and it feels wonderful to sit out in nature and feel the sun on my back. We open up a bottle of wine and have a few pre-dinner snacks (more chips and hummus). For this night, we brought ingredients to make a steak salad. Our Airbnb host has kindly set up a charcoal grill for us, so we grilled the steak and toast some bread on the side.
We eat dinner while watching the truly terrible Jean Claude Van Damme movie Bloodsport and finish up the very last of my chocolate cake. It’s amazing that anyone ever let Van Damme act… or should I say ‘act.’ I also have a Tate’s chocolate chip cookie or two, accompanied by a little port. My husband and I are truly very old people at heart, so we finish up the night watching a few episodes of Columbo.
Daily total: $0
Day 7
Morning: Unfortunately, K had insomnia last night, so he sleeps in pretty late. I drink coffee in bed and enjoy looking at the view out our big windows. Once he’s up, we get packed up and write a thank you note for our host. It was a great stay.
One of my big hobbies is birding and K enjoys wildlife photography, so we go out to look for some lifers! (The first time you see a new species of bird). Did I mention we are very old people in (relatively) young bodies? We first go to Dosewallips State Park and see some bald eagles, great blue herons, lots of various ducks, and a flock of Canada Geese, which, strangely, includes a domesticated gray goose. He’s much larger than the Canada Geese and seems to be watching over them. It’s kind of cute. Unfortunately, a lot of the birds are too far from shore to be seen clearly.
Our next stop is Point No Point (I love all the sad & disappointed names that early Westerner explorers gave places in the Washington/Oregon coast), a popular birding spot. We see a ton of birds here, and I can understand why it’s so well-known - Red-Breasted Mergansers, Western Grebes, Common Goldeneyes, Pacific Loons, and a few others I can’t identify yet. Most excitingly though, we see a whole pile of otters! They’re lounging around together on a rock just offshore and a ton of people are watching. We watch as they all slip off the rock and go hunting in the shore. It’s my first otter sighting in the wild, and it’s so cool! We also see some seals and possibly a sea lion. It’s a great spot for wildlife. We eat some snacks (hummus, chips, some sliced meat & cheese) before we head out.
I really want to come back to this area another time and explore further, but K has decided that we need to get back home in time for the Big Game. We take the 3:00 pm ferry back to Seattle ($16.40) and get home around 3:45 pm. I veg out at home while my husband watches football. He’s a Patriots fan but he still loves Tom Brady (??) so he’s happy to see Florida win. I don’t understand sports team loyalties at all, but whatever, I’m glad he’s happy. We order from a new Indian place called Spice Box and get vindaloo, roganjosh, and vegetables pakora – so tasty ($53.96). Happily, there’s enough left over for lunch the next day, since I have no plans for what we will eat yet!
I’m really dreading work the next day, as I know that it will be obnoxious. I want to get out of my job so badly, but it doesn’t look like I’m going on to the next interview stage for the job I interviewed no back on Monday. I’m feeling kind of down about it. I try to stay positive and promise that I’ll apply for at least 2-3 new jobs next week. I bake up some frozen cookie dough I had in the freezer and feel sorry for myself. We end the night by watching another episode of Columbo.
Daily total: 70.36
Food + Drink: $395.23
Fun / Entertainment: $26.40
Home + Health: $26.60
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $16.40
Other: $170.48
Grand Total: $635.11
I think this week was pretty normal for us. Obviously we spent a bit more than usual due to the weekend cabin trip, but nothing outrageous. Our largest consumer spending category is definitely food and drink – we live in a very busy area of Seattle with tons of restaurants and bars so believe it or not, we actually used to spend even more on eating out. We still try to support our local places by getting takeout or delivery during the pandemic and even occasionally getting a few drinks outside. I spent more than usual on groceries due to stocking up for the weekend away.

Discovering and embracing Satanism is an easier task for some than for others. I just wanted to share a little of my experience for anyone coming from a strict Christian upbringing or even a Christian cult. It's rare that someone is able to escape the clutches of a cult unscathed and then go on to thrive. It's not something that happens overnight and it can involve undoing a lot of ingrained beliefs, going through an identity crisis, losing family or friends, and changing your entire perception of yourself and life. Going through it, I wasn't sure I was going to ever get out. But now, I can really stand back and be amazed at how resilient we can be.
In the 80s, my midwestern parents found themselves in a self-destructive lifestyle, and after attending a church-hosted and horrific dramatization of people being dragged off to hell, they turned to Christianity as the magic cure for their unhappiness in life. When I was born, they were still brand-new born-agains struggling with substance abuse and addiction, but they went all in. And I mean ALL in. They ghosted all their friends, cut ties with every member of my extended family, and made a new family of believers. We were Pentecostal - the 700 club-watching, faith-healing, tongues-speaking, Proctor and Gamble-boycotting variety. If you've ever seen Jesus Camp that was basically my life. I don't remember a lot from those early years, but I've heard stories and have seen family photos to know that I don't want to remember.
As my sister and I got older, they attempted to shelter us from the horrors of the sin-ridden secular world. We were homeschooled with an all-Christian, church-approved curriculum taught by my mother (who had an 8th grade education) while my dad was at work. My textbooks contained and presented as fact the typical hoaxes and flawed analogies that form the basis for Christian science-denial, and I didn’t know any different. We lived in the Bible belt on a small farm, and everyone I knew was at least some form of Christian. There weren't enough non-believers to convert, so we spent most of our time trying to convert the Catholics and Baptists to "real" Christianity. My mom always said Pentecostals came first, Catholics and Baptists came along after and bastardized Christianity. Most of my "classes" were based in homemaking or farm work, and went along nicely with our weekly Wednesday night girl's program, The Missionettes. It was basically girl scouts but focused on Bible memorization and turning us into good Christian wives. We had badges like sewing, knitting, cooking, grooming, ettiquette, abstinence, and first aid. Of course we also had religious badges for communion, prayer, healing, fruits of the spirit, and the armor of god etc. A very well-rounded education.
While my parents went to church and we put on the face like we were living the blessed life, things at home weren't great. The hardest thing growing up was hearing all the adults at church go on and on about how great my parents were and how lucky I was to have such good Christian parents. One day, I remember my dad pulling me aside to tell me there was something wrong with my mom, that I should never make her angry because he wouldn't be able to choose between us. When I was 5, my mom threw a pair of scissors at my dad. They got embedded in his leg and he had to go to the emergency room. When I was around 6, my mom began to threaten my dad in front of us, saying by the time he got home from work, we would be gone. That my sister and I needed to pick who we wanted to live with because by the end of the day, we needed to be packed and ready to leave. My mom was a big fan of belts and the wooden spoon, and she never spared the rod. I have had many objects broken on me. When she would make us bend over, I would try to look back and apologize, to ask what I had done wrong, or what i could do to fix it, but anything other than complete eyes-foward submission was viewed as rebellion and only added to the count. She told me once in a joking manner that when I was in trouble, all I would say was "I want to hold you" to try to get out of punishment. She laughed. When I was 7, my mom told us that Satan told her to kill us with a potato peeler, and that she was going to kill us, my dad, and then herself. But “luckily” god "saved" us! After that, I remember my sister and I used to hide in our closet and pray to god to turn us into farm animals. Horses, dogs, chickens, anything, so we could run away and be free. We didn't even want to be human anymore. By the time I was 12, suicidal ideation set in and never really let go. Satan didn't scare me anymore. My mom did. Hell was real and I was living in it.
When I was 13, my mom found a pencil in a parking lot from a local high school and determined that it was a sign from god that we should be enrolled in public school. I was terrified. These people weren't anything like me, they were all lost sinners and it was my job to be the shining light in the midst of darkness, to teach them the way. However, it turned out, I was the one who did most of the learning. I was exposed to more math and science in high school than I had been in my entire life. I learned about other cultures and history. I actually made some friends and got to see how other people live for the first time in my life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, at that high school even touched the evil I experienced at home. There were days I didn’t want to go home. I never missed a day of school if I could help it.
The things I had believed started to not make sense in my mind anymore. It took several years for me to put all the pieces together, but the final straw was actually reading the Bible entirely from cover to cover for the first time, rather than just the “reading plan” i was given. I learned when the gospels were actually written, who possibly wrote them and why. I started reading about as many different religions as I could and started realizing the similarties of them all. I had a good friend at the time who wasn't afraid to challenge every religious and political position I had, and realized that I didn't even know why I believed what I did, only that I was told to believe it and always had. I began to reexamine everything I believed, no matter how trivial or obvious. It became clear to me that more than anything, I just wanted more out of life than I was given.
Originally, I wasn't going to go to college. We didn't have enough money, no one in my family had ever gone to college, and my parents had just assumed that I'd end up being a pastor's wife who played the piano for church services. But on the advice of an advisor, I applied to and auditioned for a music program, and I got in. I was finally getting out. But not before my mom could have the final word. When my parents found out I had been talking to a boy at school and that I liked him, she called me "the whore" for a month. One day, I had the flu and missed school for a few days. My boyfriend asked if he could bring over a can of soup and the homework I had missed. My parents agreed, and when he came in, he sat on the end of my bed (the door was wide open and I was under a ton of blankets) to ask how I was doing. My mom walked by and screeched at the top of her lungs that he needed to get the fuck out of my room and out of her house. That we weren't allowed to be in the same room without supervision. I had basically learned that sticking up for myself was useless, but I would stick up for him. He hadn't done anything wrong. I got out of bed and got up into her face and called her a psychotic bitch. She demanded that my dad throw me out. I looked at him and he looked at me and I will never forget what he said. "I told you not to make her angry because I can't choose between you. This is her house. You have to leave."
So I left. I slept in my car that night and eventually stayed with my boyfriend's family until my aunt (who my parent's ghosted) heard what happened. She took me in for several months until I could make enough money working a few part-time jobs to afford a small apartment. I completely left the church after that. I did visit a few others and even worked as a choir director at a non-denomination church for a while as a side gig, but it just wasn't the same. The veil had been lifted.
Out of the dozens of families who knew me, who watched me grow up and spent time with my family (some who even knew what was going on at home), none of them attempted to contact me. Out of all of my church friends, I am still in contact with only one, who left around the same time I did. When people say leaving a cult is like commiting social suicide, they aren't exaggerating. I was completely cut off.
If you asked my parents today, they would tell you that around 18, I gave into doubt and fell from grace. That the friends I made outside of church brainwashed me. That going to college was the nail in the coffin of my salvation. They'd tell you that by the time I turned 18, I was lost. But I was never lost. Not really. They’d never tell you that I always got in trouble for constantly questioning things. When I was eight, I wrote on the back of an offering envelope “If god created us, who created god?” and left it on a church pew for one of the elders to find (and subsequently got a beating for it). They’d never tell you that at ten, I got into an argument with the children’s pastor for saying men were superior to women because they were created first. They’d never tell you that as a Missionette, I got caught skipping sewing class to crash the Royal Rangers’ (all boys group) flag football games and outdoor events. And they’d certainly never tell you that I was eventually replaced as the president of a bible study group at school for focusing on the less-read and more appalling stories in the Bible, telling people that the gospels weren’t actually written by eye-witnesses, and encouraging people to actually read and think for themselves.
Discovering Satanism was actually one of the biggest steps in trauma recovery for me. To realize that all of my actions and behaviors were based in natural human needs and emotions that aren't at all sinful. That my learned helplessness was a direct result of my upbringing and I didn't need it anymore. That I had control of my life now. That I'm resilient and capable of going through a fire and coming out on the other end, and that I don't have to forgive anyone for anything. That the only person I can rely on is myself.
Here I am on the other side of it all, through many twists and turns. I'm the first of my family to graduate high school, go to college, or go to graduate school. I'm now a professional scientist working on Alzheimer disease research and a keyboardist in a working band. I'm active in my community both in local politics and through volunteer work. Things are far from perfect. I still struggle with old emotions, behaviors and thought patterns. It’s taken many rituals and even daily effort sometimes, but I've achieved a level of happiness and fulfillment in life I never thought possible.
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There is no heaven of glory bright, and no hell where sinners roast. Here and now is our day of torment! Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, this hour, for no redeemer liveth! Say unto thine own heart, "I am my own redeemer." Stop the way of them that would persecute you. Let those who devise thine undoing be hurled back to confusion and infamy. Let them be as chaff before the cyclone and after they have fallen rejoice in thine own salvation. Then all thy bones shall say pridefully, "Who is like unto me? Have I not been too strong for mine adversaries? Have I not delivered MYSELF by mine own brain and body?"
The Book of Satan - Anton Szandor LaVey

Credit to Arturrcantspeakjapanese on worst gen
TLDR: shanks is the underworld boss. That’s why he has connections to the gorosei. It ties into things like his famous “guns are for actions” and his crew referring to him as boss. Read it for a lot more info.
Yakuza cut their left pinkie finger. Shanks lost his left arm. Traditionally, like from medieval times, the finger-cutting is meant to cripple your swordsmanship, as the pinky finger grips the handle the most tightly. We know Shanks is a swordsman and lost at least some level of ability in this skill because of Mihawk refusing to duel, and from how he uses it in flashbacks, his left arm was his dominant arm. And actually, even earlier than the yakuza, finger-cutting comes from medieval japanese gamblers. Losing a finger was seen as a way to resolve a bet if you didn't have another way to pay. This really makes that "I bet it on the next generation." line come across a different way to me. It's not the focus of this and ive posted it before, but in my opinion, Shanks losing his arm was an intentional act to cement his influence over Luffy, because Shanks could see what Luffy's future might hold.
The marines don't call him "captain" by the way, they call him "ogashira/大頭", or "big boss". like he's the head of a criminal organization. His crew just uses "kashira/頭", a more informal "boss". the yakuza organization structure IRL places the "wakagashira"/"young boss" right under the oyabun/kumicho, so shanks' title is alluding to the yakuza without being one of their real titles. rather than the group leader, hes the head of the family. same idea, different phrasing.
we also have the fatheson cups sake ritual. the yakuza use the sakazuki cups to cement organization structure and loyalty. the grand fleet start calling Luffy "ogashira" after it, even though they don't do the "real" exchange of cups. Kyoshiro's family in Wano use it to swear loyalty, so it even has explicit ties to the yakuza within the world of One Piece. I imagine Shanks and his crew did the same fatheson cups ritual as any other yakuza family when forming the red hair pirates, considering their deferment to his rank and level of respect. Also, Shanks is from the West blue, where the best sake comes from, and he's always got a supply. Coincidentally, the west blue is overrun by underworld mafia figures under the Five Families of the West, and any importing of booze probably goes through them, so Shanks probably has ties to and influence with the Underworld. How far does it actually go? Well, we know the Underworld business goes all the way to the top of the government. We know Shanks can just walk into the holy land and discuss whatever he wants with the 5 Elders. We know the underworld is acting as a go-between for the WG, the yonko, and other weapons dealers and criminals across the world. Everyone called Doflamingo the most influential man in the Underworld, but he was just one broker. After Dressrosa we find out that the underworld is much bigger than just one country's exports, and see guys like Giberson the Hider the warehouse kingpin, "god of fortune" Du Feld, "shipping king" Umit, Big News Morgans, etc. But even these guys most people dont know about specialize. The organization structure has to lead up to something, right? Who's pulling the strings?
Akagami (red hair) is written like this "赤髪" but if you say akagami and write it like this "垢神" it means something like "dirty god" or like "god of filth". akagami no shankusu. What if Red Haired Shanks is also Shanks the Dirty God, the man at the top of the underworld?
i started looking for more puns after this and figured Oda likes doing stuff with bounties. shanks is 4,048,900,000. its got 489 (shi-ya-ku) in it and this led me in some wild directions. first off 師役(shiyaku) could mean "playing the role of teachemaster", like the example wiki gives is saying something like "suzumiya haruhi-yaku, aya hirano." so, playing the role of teacher, shanks. (or playing the role of Death, ooh spooky) then theres a bunch of gambling references! yaku means your hand in mahjong, for one. but then the other one https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oicho-Kabu , a japanese gambling card game literally called "89". turns out its the origin of the word yakuza.
so i wanted to see if there were any notable connections between the syllable "shi" and the yakuza and got https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shimizu_Jirocho - most famous yakuza in history - adopted - life has no recorded notable incidents between the death of his father and becoming a young adult - became a gambler and criminal and started building a private navy - played the revolutionary army and the government against each other - swordsman - folk hero/robin hood figure in japan - famously made sure people were buried properly after a war and defied the government in doing so - was known to be able to settle major conflicts without casualties
"The pistol is cold. The pistol is a mechanism. There is no personification in it, and the sword is an extension of the human hand, human flesh, and I can convey the entire depth of hatred towards the enemy when the blade of my sword pierces his body, plunging the hand-sword into the body of the enemy. Then there is no greater pleasure to say: "Shinde moraimasu", that is, "I ask you to die." Shimizu Jirocho
"its dangerous to point guns." Shanks

Time to see who are the best and worst of us

I guess we have to actually pick winners. Also, hopefully if I post this, Susan will let me out of her basement.
2020 Holup Free Coins From Admins So Why Not Awards:

King Shitposter

What do you mean this is a shit post sub? This subreddit is for top quality content only. Pfffffft.
Anyway the winner in this category is u/Allstarhit, ^{nominated by u/Sully10592}

Upvoted Repost (God this Sub Sucks Award)

Some of the nominations in this category sound interesting to say the least. I haven't looked at a single one of them
Well the winner of this category is u/try-bi-sum-cum, interesting name I must admit. ^{nominated by u/VoidFreeze8.}
#Best meme in a sub that isn't supposed to be memes
So, uhm, there were only two nominations. Losing this category's gotta be pretty embarrassing.
The winner was (well is, unless they died under mysterious conditions that lead the police to a potato farm that claims their potatoes are made of fairy liquid), oops side-tracked, well the winner is u/FORKgive-me ^{nominated by u/IDK_for_options}

Techsupport420 Platinum Chungus award

Idk who this award was named after, but they should be banned AgainstTechSupport
Well anyway the winner is u/braceem who was nominated by u/siouxsie_siouxv2 (notice how a mod nominated them, this is rigged)

Tweet Theft of the Year

I've ran out of funny things to say. Just kidding, I was never funny. But seriously though, it's hard to say something funny about something as unfunny as tweets.
The big boy winner is u/discovid19 nominated by u/IndigoSoln (I know another mod nominating these, I'm starting to notice a pattern)

Salty User Award

Now get ready for a sob story, kids. I replied to that comment, pointing out how I thought this was about users but then realised it was about posts. And then, I got the most votes, and someone gave my comment a ternion, but nooo, apparently I didn't win and I'm just being salty (somebody please nominate me for 2021)
u/thicmilkdani won this but we hope he won't bottle up the emotions this causes and will speak to a professional. Out of everyone being modded from this thing, we decided to mod him first because he's a good sport, and he has spirit. ^{nominated by u/VoidFreeze8}

The Platinum Bucky

I have no idea what this award is, give me a minute to read up on it
I have finished reading, and I didn't know this sub had any good posts.
u/wroneq congratulations on understanding this subreddit. And thank you to u/IDK_for_options for recognising such a good post

Give this discord user some free coins

Hmm that sounds like a weird reddit award
Well the winner is u/franticbicc (mia). Other than the fact that she lives halfway across the world from me, and that we're not related, she is my twin. Anybody who says anything bad about her gets an immediate ban, and I won't consult with Susan.
SUSAN HOW MANY AWARDS DID YOU MAKE? FSASAWLINIHIJL

Diamond Virginity award

So, uhm. If you are unmarried, please skip to the next award, this is some very unchristian language.
u/Allstarhit is the winner. Nominated by u/IndigoSoln [insert another mods gay joke]

The Golden Racism Award

The description for this award tells me nothing, so I'll assume it's funny
u/moremacaronie won ^{nominated by u/IDK_for_options}
So uhm, I think I need to finish this post off. So:
One subreddit you should all check out:

DankExchange

We believe that sub will appeal to wheel-loving holup users, especially if they believe every post should be original content down to the meme template being used. Also, u/lukenamop is a wizard who built a game for gambling on memes, it feels good to finally have something to show for all this: piles and piles of fake currency. Everyone will be impressed, and you may be sore from all the girls who suddenly don't think you're gross.

And

make sure to go to sleep before 23:00 because it's a school night, or else I'll yeet you into another plane of existence
https://i.imgur.com/PLSmsKs.gifv
Because this is holup and Susan wants everyone to mod here, and Chem enjoys playing god, everyone who participated will be receiving the honorary mod position with a few being asked to actually do work for no money for an ungrateful corporation. Lucky them!

My dad went off treatment for lung cancer 6 months ago, and my mother called me about a week ago to tell me that it looks like it’s his final days. I didn’t even know he was off treatment until that call. She asked me to visit him, and I’ve refused.
The first reason is because I think traveling is dangerous. My dad is obviously high risk. My mom is too. My brother’s wife just had a baby (my parents live with my brother). It’s not an ideal scenario.
The real reason is because my dad was an abusive alcoholic who gambled away all $10,000 of my college savings. It’s not like I moved out when I was 18 and never looked back either. My father lived with me for a year, and that entire time he constantly disrespected me. He told me I had to be a better wife (cleaning + cooking wise). He had terrible manners (never saying sorry, please, or thank you) and was incredibly messy. One day, I figured we were both adult enough to talk about the past. I asked him why gambled so much and abused mom. I didn’t know how he would respond, but I definitely wasn’t expecting him to deny everything and say I was a horrible daughter. I said he couldn’t live with me until he admitted his mistakes. He refused and moved back in with my brother and mom.
When my dad got his cancer diagnosis, I still didn’t talk to him. He never reached out and I didn’t either. I did send money to my brother to help pay the bills. When my mom told me he was dying I didn’t know how to feel. To be honest, I don’t love my father, but it was hard to realize he was dying. My mom asked me to fly over, and I refused due to world conditions. I ended up FaceTiming my father. I asked him if he regretted not getting help or if he resented my brother or me for not forcing him to get help. He asked what I meant, and I said with his alcohol and gambling addictions. He denied having either again and blew up again.
This is probably the biggest AH moment. I said things I probably shouldn’t have said. I told him he was a bad dad, and he should be lucky my brother and mom take care of him. I told him I didn’t love him, and I hoped my sons turn out nothing like him. The worst thing I said was that God would see through his lies, and he broke into tears. My mom said I was childish and bitter for not being able to act normal for 5 minutes and causing so much stress. I told them I wouldn’t speak to him again until he admitted for his mistakes and apologized for him. He hasn’t. Somehow other family members heard word of the arguments and called to lecture me about it. I didn’t realize I could’ve been in the wrong until my husband admitted he thought I was excessively harsh after the first batch of relatives called me and I asked for his opinion.
TLDR: AITA for refusing to speak/visit/forgive my abusive alcoholic father who refuses to admit any of his mistakes